Poisonous Nail

Recently I recollected an episode from childhood.

When I was little, maybe 4 or 5, I was chewing my nails and my mom and aunt Lu told me that I had to be very careful with his habit since we all have a poisonous nail. We all have one, and it varies from person to person, so it's better not to chew any in case you want to keep on living. 

That was the end on my habit. I simply stopped and forgot about the whole thing.

Then another day, something triggered the memory and I was baffled by it. 

I went my whole life not thinking about, but somewhere in the depths of my subconscious mind, I had the belief that we all have a poisonous nail. It took me about 35 years to bring that back and re-evaluate the facts. 

What else am I carrying around as "true fact", weighing me down along the process?

How many white little lies we just take it in?

Question the world kids. Question yourself, most of all. 

Thanks mom. I'll send you the therapy bill.  

Tereza's Diary

She thought her words documented days

She thought her Blog told of childhood antics

But she was writing a history book, 

the only history that really mattered to us.

We were kings and queens, 

knights and hobos, 

Fairies and beasts,

We were kids. We were dreams.

We were spring's self-realization. 

Intentional Bi-Polarism

I've been having lots of fun reuniting with my middle-school friends online. 

Most of them I've known for a very long time, literally straight from the maternity ward. 

It's so funny to me that most of them retained their personality traits from back when. 

The quiet ones stopped by, said hi and resumed to the background. The flamboyant ones (to keep it politely) still as vocal and outgoing as before, if not even more. 

I do appreciate each and every one of them, on their own way. 

Some of them I've kept in touch for the past 20 years since I left Brazil. Some of them I have not exchanged a single word during this period. 

It is astonishing how we found the same silly rhythm that we had as 13-14 year old kids. Even the ones I thought I would have nothing in common to talk about anymore, surprised me in how easy it was to reacquaint.

I miss them very much. I feel that those were real friendships, the kind that 20 years go by and I can call them up and ask for a shoulder to cry. 

One, in particular, became a different kind of friend now. So many things have happened in both of our lives, pulling us in completely different directions, and maybe because of that, we found an array of similarities that formed a new and "grown-up" kind of friendship. 

This is where the bi-polarism comes in place. We can both be silly and goof off with the whole group, but on a private level, we talk about life nowadays, of our troubles and tribulations.  I like the nuances of it all, the fact that we don't need a definition. 

Maybe I just find this so interesting because I was not growing up close to everyone else. The 20-year hiatus weighs heavily and I still somehow see all the old friends as the kids we were back then.   After all, aren't we the same kids deep down?