MSU, here I come...

Today I started to take photography classes from Michigan State University. I've been planning to do this for quite a while, and longer yet, I've always wanted to really learn how to take nice pictures.

I had a brief course when I was on Advertising School, and was really happy with some pictures I took. (Thanks Jeronimo!!!)

Now is time to do more of the things that make me happy and photography is on top of my list. 

What are you learning nowadays? 

Twinkle

He had a touch of amusement in his eyes every time he found her truly laughing.

He wondered where does she hide the twinkle in her own eyes when quietly immersed into her head. 

He didn't want to ask how many more of those he would witness.

Some questions are better left unasked.

Endurance

She sat down and took a deep breath,

Sometimes she found herself

caught in a cloud of anxiety

By now she's learned that the first impact stings, 

But time would ease the tightness in her breathing

One step at a time has never made so much sense

as it does nowadays.

Then she stood up again 

Tied the shield around her arms

And faced the wind. 

Encyclopedia of Bugs

During the week prior my son's Airborne graduation, I kept catching myself making mental notes of things I needed to remind him before he left for his First Duty Station. When it became overwhelming, I decided to write the little reminders, and it wasn't any better.

I had to stop myself, take that deep breath everyone kept talking about; and trust that he did pay attention along the way. So then, I could concentrate on the really important things that I had to make sure he "got it" and we tend not to say it in many words. Thus this little project was born.

As anyone in the Army knows, plans change with minutes notice, and so did his travels to FDS. We had basically 2 days to get all his affairs in order. When I finished, I didn't have time to revise it or make the cover I wanted. You will see many errors, but I decided not the fix them after. The errors are part of the story. 

I see this as a very personal gift (especially on the title) from me to my son, but today I've decided to share with other Army Parents. I'm sure there are many out there feeling just like I did. Support your kid/partner. 

You Came Along

"Follow me" - she sang

"Here, hold my hand,

No need for blue or red pill

We can soar up the hill, 

We can dive down the shore,

It will be fun" - she swore

And with a belly full of butterflies 

His hand now in hers lies

Uninvited

Walked in unpretentiously

Settled yourself in a quiet corner 

Nursed your poison like you had all the time in the world

Avoided eye contact like you haven't noticed me

Betrayed your anonymity by chuckling at my uncanny jokes

Oh,... Nonchalant mysteriousness fits you well

Without trying,  morphed yourself into my poison, 

Uninvited and welcome.

Unpredictability

While he was steady like a rock, 

His gaze held a touch of the unpredictable.

While he was thirsty for independence,

He still missed having to hold hands.

While he was longing for home

His eagerness for adventure was palpable.

One In A Row

My dear husband has a special talent for saying things out of a contest, at the worse possible moment, mess up quotes, words, or plainly make up stuff that is hilarious. 

One of his trade marks is, when guessing something right, or achieving a goal, he blurts out ONE IN A ROW. Yes, you can't have a row with just one of anything, but he is handy like that. 

I wanted to document his trademark phrase, but today he presented me with another "Alex's Gem" that took precedence. 

I sent him an email with an alternative view on a topic that he is quite fond of. His response caught me by surprise and had me laughing so hard. I could hear the anguish in his reply. 
- "I'm serious, the only one in my heart and soul is the following...
(...topic of the conversation, no need to be publicized...)

NOTHING ELSE EXISTS IN THIS WORLD, GALAXY, UNIVERSE. NOT EVEN IN PARALLEL ONES.

GOT IT?!!! "

Living with him, the laugh is an every day given. 

Happy 21st of every month, Carapalida!

Easy complexity

I don't need diamonds.
Strands of gold won't glitter my eyes.
Don't bother with gems,
Colorful pebbles are precious the same.
But I do require a castle,
Built from sand and dreams,
Big enough to hold you and me,
And a zoo, it will seem. 

Dragonfly wings in lieu 

Of fancy designer shoes,

A tiara woven from vines,

Skip the glamor and spotlight
But I do require magic,
And a touch of wildness from time to time.

Semantics

Here are two examples of seemingly nice acts that are actually hiding prejudice in its essence.

• Perform an act of kindness every day
• A nice man helps with house chores

If you perform an act of kindness every day, are you being kind all day long? Are you only doing one act a day, checking it off your to-do list and resuming a selfish normalcy?

Each time we promote the message to do one kind act, we are also limiting the need to express kindness constantly, regardless the recipient, regardless the circumstance. Just be kind, if you have the kindness to give. 

Nice men don't ever help with chores. A nice man recognizes that the chores are not a woman's job. A nice person, being a man or a woman, recognize that their "feminine" partner is not automatically entitled to take care of house/chores/kids. A nice person recognizes that in any partnership, each person should take on the tasks they have a natural inclination to, and divide or take turns on the tasks that make you both feel like it's a "task". 

If you don't have a team mentality in a romantic relationship, sooner or later the partners will feel used, abused and unappreciated. 

I suggest replacing both statements with only one:

• Be kind.

Unfair games

Arghhhh!

I'm in such an upheaval today. I can barely focus. 

Theories of why someone would make up stories baffles me. Please, give the truth. Straight up. I can handle it. 

Don't make me walk round and round searching for your motives or reasons. The more I search, the more I think you are up to no good. 

I'm just hoping that we won't need to get law enforcement involved in this, but I'll see it thru. 

Wake up!

Today I've been reminded that we, too often, let the auto-pilot take over while we lose ourselves watching life go by. 

We need to embrace life. We need to actually live each moment, experience every nuance and make a conscious decision for each thing you are doing. 

We doze for years and suddenly we realize that we have not appreciated half of the things we lived thru. 

So, get out there, hug that tree, buy that ridiculously expensive dessert, open that bottle, take that class, watch the sunset, live like you mean it. 

Magic Bus

Last night I watched a video that showed a glimpse of the Magic Bus Memorial, in the Denali Park-Alaska (from the movie "Into the Wild"). 

I have a feeling that I spend most of my time visiting my imaginary Magic Bus, my "porto seguro", the place where I get to go home to, at least internally. 

One of my personality traits says that I live most of my life "inside my head."

More and more I find it to be thru. It's very comforting to step away from the world and walk into my Magic Bus, where everything has a place, every memory is sitting on a shelf, all the emotional supplies awaits to be needed. 

This is also where you realize that "happiness is only real when it's shared", so every once in a while I step out of the bus and collect more memory supplies and emotional tools to prettify my bus!

Identity

Today I had a brief but good talk to a person dear to me. 

I've always seen this person as a bright, happy, full of life individual. I also had a sense that this person is gay. 

So, I in my bluntness asked if my suspicions were right. And it was. We had a brief talk. I wanted to make sure that this person felt loved and safe in my presence. 

Afterward, I was pondering about how sad it is to have to hide your own identity, having a taste of it myself, although in a different manner. 

How sad I feel for people that think they can dictate what is accepted or not for someone else's life. How can we fail so deeply as a society?  We fabricate our beliefs and force everyone to fit into our own little mediocre boxes, plaster a smile on our face and go about our day ignoring the oppressed tears. 

One of the times I felt like I raised my kid right was when he told me he found out one of his Army friends is gay, and he changed nothing on how he sees or interacted with this guy. 

Family and friend's opinions do matter, but not as much as your own, not enough to hide your identity. Be brave, be yourself. 

The ones worth of you will love you no matter what. 

Bosnian Pyramid and Filet-o-Fish

Nope, not much of a correlation between those two (although I bet I can make one up in a sleepless night), It just happens to be two things that I've learned about today. 

The Bosnian Pyramid is absolutely fascinating. The frequency vibrating from it is high enough to provide healing benefits. The precision of the location where it was constructed, the age of the pyramid, just fascinating... 

Now, to a lesser degree of amazement...

The fish sandwich, despite being the least popular item on McD's menu, it has quite an interesting history too. 

It was created to keep one of the restaurants afloat, when Fridays were a very non-lucrative day due to a high concentration of Catholics in that city, avoiding any protein that wasn't seafood on Fridays. 

Even being a troublesome item that even requires its own fryer, McD keeps it on the menu to be religiously accommodating. 

Next time you order a Filet-o-Fish, rest assured that it's just one more aspect where dogmas are shoved into your mouth. 

How fleeting is the sense of love?

No matter how many promises, how many good intentions, love is as fragile as the ashes of a burnt incense. 

Yesterday I heard of a friend's having a hard time to cope with her sister's abandonment of a 21-year marriage, 2 offspring, beautiful house and the seemingly comfortable suburban life.  She succumbed to a love affair with the well known bad boy from teenager hood. 

She is now labeled as sick, out of her mind, a victim of the guy's prey, etc... 

And I'm thinking here to myself, how susceptible are we to the same "ailment". Isn't she the courageous one to follow her heart? 

Why should she stay playing the role that everyone expects of her? 

Claims are that the bad boy is not good for her, but this is beyond the point here. 

I know that many heartaches already came for her, and much more will follow, but should we pay a price to follow something we want?

Would everyone be happier if she just negates her heart and lives her life with a hollow heart?

I'm very sorry that she is in a position that society and dogmas are dictating what she can or cannot do, in order to be happy. 

You ask me will my love grow...

I don't know... I don't know...

Esmeralda

Corre, corre,

Quem chegara primeiro?

Corre, corre,

Seu sorvete esta derretendo!

Calma, calma, 

Tudo passando tao rapido!

Calma, calma,

Quanto tempo dura desse dia?

Pedale, pedale,

Voltaremos amanha?

Pedale, pedale,

Nossos caminhos divergem!

Intentional Bi-Polarism

I've been having lots of fun reuniting with my middle-school friends online. 

Most of them I've known for a very long time, literally straight from the maternity ward. 

It's so funny to me that most of them retained their personality traits from back when. 

The quiet ones stopped by, said hi and resumed to the background. The flamboyant ones (to keep it politely) still as vocal and outgoing as before, if not even more. 

I do appreciate each and every one of them, on their own way. 

Some of them I've kept in touch for the past 20 years since I left Brazil. Some of them I have not exchanged a single word during this period. 

It is astonishing how we found the same silly rhythm that we had as 13-14 year old kids. Even the ones I thought I would have nothing in common to talk about anymore, surprised me in how easy it was to reacquaint.

I miss them very much. I feel that those were real friendships, the kind that 20 years go by and I can call them up and ask for a shoulder to cry. 

One, in particular, became a different kind of friend now. So many things have happened in both of our lives, pulling us in completely different directions, and maybe because of that, we found an array of similarities that formed a new and "grown-up" kind of friendship. 

This is where the bi-polarism comes in place. We can both be silly and goof off with the whole group, but on a private level, we talk about life nowadays, of our troubles and tribulations.  I like the nuances of it all, the fact that we don't need a definition. 

Maybe I just find this so interesting because I was not growing up close to everyone else. The 20-year hiatus weighs heavily and I still somehow see all the old friends as the kids we were back then.   After all, aren't we the same kids deep down?

Taste of your own.

The subject in focus today is J.P.Morgan.
I've always been hesitant when it comes to Mr. Morgan. Now, the more I read about him, the more I dislike him.
Putting all Tesla's business and betrayal aside, good ol' J.P. was a bully to his contemporaries, to the financial world and to the country. A master manipulator that had the whole country dancing on his strings and thanking him while at it.
So, here, posthumously, I leave my formal protest in the form of what he hated the most... his photograph made public.


There you go, Mr. Morgan. And by the way, Tesla could have made you into an honorable man, only if you weren't such a bully.

Here we go...

I am amazed by things that happen as if they've been strung together to accomplish a determined goal. 

Last night I follow some of these strings that culminated into watching the movie "Into The Wild."

It was a very cathartic experience. I'm still digesting all different thoughts brought up by this movie, leaving me kind of numb and pondering.

These past 4 weeks have been full of life changing situations, and as expected and required, it left me wondering.